You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize