My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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