I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
