I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
