we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Welp...herpes.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
