I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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