doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
