Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
