Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
