I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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