Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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