I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
