Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i believe in u and ur pee
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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