Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
