"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
