That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
