he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize