how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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