I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
