My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
