Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
