trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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