I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
