I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
