I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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