Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize