I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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