Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Randomize
