Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I cut my penus on the lid.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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