Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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