At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Boobs speak an international language.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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