Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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