Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
