I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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