your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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