all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
