So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize