never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
