Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
