I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just google imaged poop.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize