My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
