I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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