My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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