my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people