I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
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Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.