So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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