I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?