Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
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Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
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Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?