I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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