oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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