I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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