i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
