the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
