My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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