Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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