i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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