This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
