i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Randomize