the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Floor bacon is actually really good
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize