I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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