The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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