We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
