Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Everclear isn't food dammit
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
