I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize