Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
