Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
