My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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