it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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