He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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