YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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