There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think your dad took our porno
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize