I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
whose parrot is this?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
