Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
