In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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