then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
