Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
