Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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